but then (the great optimist that i am) it dawned upon me that there are so many people whose lives change drastically... within moments.. for the worse.. through absolutely no fault of their own. and then, as the case always is with life, they have to accept it...for a while at least, before they can start to struggle all over again with the risk of losin it all. and i realised, that compared to them im so much better off - even with my tooth aches. (that is saying a lot, mind you!). i'm with my family - tho i miss some people a lot. and still in touch with almost everyone that i wanted to be in touch with - all my friends :). (thank you Airtel for lowering STD rates!) we meet up as often as we can for whatever little time and compensate for the fun we could have had but did not during the rest of the year spent apart... and are just HAPPY for those few moments.
all this essentially sums up my life as quite a good one comparatively, doesnt it ? hmm... yeah.
but then again (the typical crab that i am) i wondered, is life comparative?? is it like a CAT - where your percentile depends on how much better or worse several thousand other candidates perform? is my happiness proportional to the misery of other people? do other people have to suffer for me to be 'happy' ? is happiness scarce? - small unequal shares to be distributed among everyone? (i got a bigger piece, yay!) is it not absolute ? and whatever happened to karma ?!?
i've been a good kid - i got presents from Santa every year till i believed in him. and even now, tho im crazy a lot of times, i'm sure Santa would still put me on the "nice" list.
so, what have i done to deserve all these changes? what have i done to grow up so soon, turn 18 ?? and more importantly, WHAT have i done to deserve turnin twenty this year ??!??! (couldnt it be TwenTEEN ??!! please God(s), pleeeez !!)
no, i am not going to take 'i was BORN' as an answer… even if i do, what about the happiness problem ?
